down the rabbit hole

recently i watched a movie called "what the bleep do we know?", which was very interesting and ultimately hopeful. i think. then i started to think about my own life in the context of the film. basically, the premise was that our thoughts dictate our reality, an idea which i'm completely prepared to accept and even find comforting. of course, it means that the disastrous sections of one's life are at least partly one's own fault; the flip-side of that is that presumably one could do something about it by changing one's thought patterns. there is also a bio-chemical side to all of this, and apparently we are all addicted to our own unique (and sometimes not so positive) brain chemistry. again, this can be altered by determinedly changing one's thoughts. so here i am, trying to re-pattern my thoughts, putting forth effort in this area that would do credit to the most ardent new-age guru or levitating monk, and my life this past week was insane. a continuation of insanity, actually---a mishmash of highs and lows, mostly lows. apart from a cheering monday evening, the week in review reads something like this: apprehension, argument, betrayal, set-backs, frustration, flaming row, disappointment, etc. and i haven't even discussed the love interest part yet! so, my natural question is: did it work at all? maybe it takes some time? maybe it did work, in that i haven't murdered anyone or put my own head down the loo, tempting though it is. but really, i was hoping for something a bit more encouraging than fending off suicide. perhaps i am being too immature about the whole thing; i want the powers-that-be to show me something tangible. i want to walk into the liquor store next week and say as i pay for my beer, "and i shall have a lottery ticket too, my good man", obtain one, and find that i have just won a million dollars. too much to ask, i know, and ridiculous. life doesn't work that way...or does it? the whole point of the film was that it can and does, that the universe responds to us when we are attuned to it correctly. where do i go for my remedial training?