What have you been taking for granted?

how apropos! um....my heart! this past tuesday evening, i thought that i might actually be having a heart attack. i had been feeling a bit odd all evening after a stressful personal interaction. my daughter and i were snuggling in my bed after reading a chapter of the current story, and i realized that i was experiencing most of the "women's heart attack" symptoms (nausea, pain in the jaw, neck and shoulders, cold sweat, and a strange sensation of pressure across my chest). silent tears started to run down my face as i held her and tried to think what i should do. i wasn't afraid of dying---really, not at all---quite calm about it, in fact; but i did not want to leave her alone. she began to cry too, and she said, "i don't want to lose you!" i told her that i didn't want to lose her either, and nothing more was said. i tried to calm my breathing and made sure that my phone was nearby in case i decided that i needed to call a friend to take care of my daughter and an ambulance. eventually, the pain and nausea passed, leaving me very tired. the next day i lounged about as much as possible, too tired to do anything. i discovered that i was taking my very continuance for granted. this was somewhat ironic, considering how many times i had thought about ending it. but now i see that i don't want to give it up without a fight...i find that i took my poor young-old battered heart completely for granted, and that i'd like it to carry on with its drumbeat a while longer.