What would you tell someone about to become a mother?

listen to your heart. listen to your baby. enlist your family and friends as support. ignore nearly everything the media and western culture have to say about child-rearing. sleep when the baby sleeps! do your homework while you are pregnant, and then listen to your heart and listen to your baby. this won't be easy. no one will pay you, put you on a pedestal, or reward you in any tangible way. (except your child.) doesn't matter. it's the most important thing you'll ever do.  if anyone says anything to you about breastfeeding in public, smile and continue doing it. don't be intimidated. (you  can always bring suit against  them later if necessary, this being america.) don't be dragooned into schedules or enrichment activities. remember that the most important things you can give your baby are your milk and your loving presence. ask for help when you need it. be flexible and forgiving with your child and with yourself. smile everytime your eyes fall on the baby. (even at 3 am after no real sleep for months. the moments when you forget to smile at the baby are the scary ones.) if anyone says you are "spoiling" the baby , do not listen to these people. allow the joy you find in your baby to fill you up so there is no room for doubt. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND LISTEN TO YOUR BABY.